When you think about turning down a piece of cake to someone you’re close to, or telling your family you want to eat less meat, or going on a girls night out and just ordering a mineral water… What thought or emotion comes next?
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Do you cringe at the thought of being the odd one out… again?
Do you feel embarrassed just imagining the look on their faces?
OR do you fear that the pressure will be too much and you’ll cave in?
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As women, we’re brought up to be polite, maintain relationships, put the needs of our family before our own, and keep everyone happy.
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For the most part there is nothing wrong with this, as long as OUR health, our well-being, isn’t being compromised. However, when we’ve battled cancer, our health HAS suffered.
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AND maybe our health was suffering BEFORE we got cancer, but we were too busy being caught up in the needs of others to recognise our own needs.
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But now what?
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The fight to remain healthy and cancer-free doesn’t end when treatment ends, does it? Now more than ever we need to “make space” for ourselves and prioritize our health, don’t we?
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Yes, it’s difficult to say no your mother’s home-made cake that she made especially for the occasion or not drink with the ‘girls’. But there’s something much deeper than the solitary slice of cake or glass of wine.
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It’s about US valuing US.
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Of course we don’t want to hurt feelings. Of course we want to belong, and it may feel even more important to us than to other folks — to feel like life has returned to some semblance of normal after what we’ve been through.
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But our polite attempts at refusal followed by the inevitable “Well, ok, just one,” do NOT serve our families and friends and society at large.
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Do they need to know the depths to which we fell when we faced our own mortality? Not necessarily.
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Do they need to fully understand the pit of fear we feel at every check-up now that we understand just how suddenly our lives can change? Perhaps not.
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But what they DO absolutely need from us is our own solid, unwavering commitment to our new truth. To the new beautiful life we have been given a second chance at.
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We do them a disservice if we continue to ignore our own NEEDS and forget what we have learned the hard way.
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It’s ok to not only say, “No thanks, no cake for me,” but to INSIST.
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It’s okay to gently and kindly stay solidly immovable in our insistence that we continue to prioritize our health.
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Does that mean we can never ever say yes to the cake? Not at all – this isn’t about denying ourselves.
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It IS about standing up for our incredibly hard-bought truth. And letting the world know – “It’s okay to take care of me… I insist.”
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If my words have resonated and you would like to know more, you may enjoy following me
here on Facebook. if you are ready for a little more hand-holding support with finding a plan and delicious foods that support your commitment to stay healthy and feel great, you can book in an
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